Everyone gets sick of all the thousands of advertisements seen on the internet, on just about every website you visit, at any given time. Some advertisements are so annoying and sometimes you just want them gone. You may be one of the 58 million Firefox users that have installed the extension, 
I recently came to learn how useful using the excerpt feature that is built into Wordpress. You can use excerpts if you want to show a short blurb for each post on your blog’s homepage, which I have been wanting to do on Tweeaks for a long time now I just didn’t know how to do it. Since I was doing some layout modifications, and tweaks FINALLY, I figured I should find out how to use excerpts, and I am happy I did. It’s so easy
If you haven’t read this yet, it is well-worth your time. It something everyone could enjoy and get a laugh at. As I read it the first time, I remember thinking how it’s just as I’d imagine a dog and a cat’s diary would sound, and I wish I could say I’m the one who wrote it. From what I could find it was written several years ago by Maggy Floeter, while she was writing columns for AOL. I assume AOL was where it originated from.
Excerpts from a Dog’s Daily Diary:
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Day 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh
meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat
another house plant.Day 766 – Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. The audacity!
Day 768 – I am finally aware of how sadistic they are.
For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture.
This time however it included a burning foamy chemical
called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent such a
liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb
still stuck between my teeth.Day 771 – There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow– but at the top of the stairs.
Day 774 – I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released — and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe…for now…
This is one of the funniest things I’ve read, and at the same time scariest to think that cats are that sadistic. It makes you wonder if your cute little kitty will one day manage to somehow murder you then eat you to dispose of your body, and then get someone else in trouble for it. Okay haha, that maybe a bit extreme, but who knows what they are really capable of.
Are you a cat lover? I am a cat lover. So let’s play a game called, Pass the Cat!!
